Tag Archives: Firefly

Objects in Space

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Mal: “When I want a lot of medical jargon, I’ll talk to a doctor.
Simon: “You are talking to a doctor.”
Mal: “Yeah, okay, my point is could’ve been you she might have shot just then. The doctor, as you just made note of. And who exactly could fix you? Not nobody. We’re deep in space, corner of No and Where. You take extra care with her…’cause we’re very much alone out here.”
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Heart of Gold

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Mal: “You know, it ain’t altogether wise, sneaking up on a man when he’s handling his weapon.”
Inara: “I’m sure I’ve heard that said. But perhaps the dining area isn’t the place for this sort of thing?”
Mal: “What do you mean? Only place with a table big enough.”
Inara: “Of course. In that case…” (rearranges guns) “Every well-bred petty crook knows — the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting.”
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Out of Gas

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Zoe: “You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?”
Mal: “What? Come on, seriously, Zoe. Whaddya think?”
Zoe: “Honestly, sir? I think you got robbed.”
Mal: “Robbed? What? No. What do you mean?”
Zoe: “It’s a piece of fei-oo.” [fei-oo. = junk]
Mal: “Fei-oo? Okay, she won’t be winning any beauty contests anytime soon. But she’s solid. Ship like this, be with ya ’til the day you die.”
Zoe: “Cause it’s a deathtrap.”
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Jaynestown

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Mal: “You wanna tell me how come there’s a statue of you here, looking at me like I owe him something?”
Jayne: “Wishin’ I could, Captain.”
Mal: “No, seriously, Jayne, you want to tell me–?”
Jayne: “Look, Mal, I got no ruttin’ idea. I was here a few years back, like I said. Pulled a second-story, stole a lot of scratch from the magistrate up on the hill. But things went way south. I had to hightail it. They don’t…put you on a pedestal in town square for that.”
Mal: “Yeah, but I’m looking at some fair compelling evidence says they do.”
Simon: (staring at the statue) “This must be what going mad feels like.”
Jayne: “Uh, hey, I got a idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art critic ’til I get pinched by the man, how’s about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work, and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day. How’s that?”
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Our Mrs. Reynolds

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Bandit #1:  “And I think maybe you’re gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus.”
(Husband) Jayne: “Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.”
(Wife) Mal:  “How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?”
(Husband) Jayne:  “If I could make you purtier, I would.”
(Wife) Mal: “You are not the man I met a year ago.” (they suddenly draw their guns on the bandits, Mal slowly pulling his bonnet off)
Mal: “Now think real hard. You been bird-dogging this township a while now. They wouldn’t mind a corpse of you. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet: I will end you.”
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Safe

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Mal: “So, she’s added cussing and hurling about of things to her repertoire. She really is a prodigy.”
Simon: “It’s just a bad day.”
Mal: “No, a bad day is when someone’s yellin’ spooks the cattle. Understand? You ever see cattle stampede when they got no place to run? It’s kind of like a…a meat grinder. And it’ll lose us half the herd.”
Simon: “She hasn’t gone anywhere near the cattle.”
Mal: “No, but in case you hadn’t noticed, her voice kinda carries. We’re two miles above ground and they can probably hear her down there. Soon as we unload, she can holler until our ears bleed.” (to River) “Although I would take it as a kindness if she didn’t.”
River: “The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.”
Mal:  (to Simon) “See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like.”
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